Our Mothers' Decisions

Before I begin to tell about our decision to move to an apartment in a CCRC, I think I should share with you our mothers' experiences. My mother was ready at age 80 to give up housekeeping and moved into a retirement home. Even though she had only one small room with a half bath, she was happy with her new social contacts and loved having those "nice girls" serve her meals in the common dining room. My husband's mother, on the other hand, considered such a place to be anathema. When we dined with Mother as her guests, Stan's mother saw someone with a walker and asked if they issued those to all the "inmates." That is actually the word she used, inmates!

Then when Mother needed nursing care, it was right there for her and her new friends could visit her without leaving the building. Remaining in her apartment, Stan's mother required meals on wheels and a home aide to assist her during the day. Eventually it became obvious that more help was needed, and round the clock, so we had to find a nursing home for her. That was not an easy task and eventually meant a long drive for us to go and visit her.

I have always been thankful that my mother made the move to Pilgrim Manor, our UCC related CCRC in Grand Rapids. She did the tasks of sorting through her possessions and discarding those that she thought her children would not want. Then, she let me decide which pieces of furniture I would like for my home and we had a sale for all the rest. Perhaps that is the reason that it has been so easy for me to decide to move to a CCRC. But more on that, to come.